Developing a Good New Habit

Developing a Good New Habit

Every new year, resolutions are thought about, discussed, begun, accomplished, abandoned, etc.  I heard one psychologist talk about new year’s resolutions and thought by renaming them, they would seem less daunting, e.g., aspirations, intentions.  Let’s not label them, we will just talk about developing a good new habit this year.

Maybe you want to exercise more, lose weight, spend more intentional time with family, read more, attend church more regularly,  get up earlier to start each day, watch only inspirational shows or movies, get together for fun with friends more often, volunteer more, travel more, sign up for a class you are interested in, or something that would add positivity into your  life.  Whatever it is , there are certain things you can do to get started and stay on track.

1.   Decide what good new habit you want to develop this year.
2.   Write it down and tell someone about it. Maybe even get someone to do it with you or hold you accountable.
3.   Think about how you will feel about yourself if you accomplish your goal.  How will this change your self-esteem?
4.   Determine what you have to risk or invest to achieve your goal. 
5.   Put it on your calendar.
6.   Look back every 30 days to see how you are doing.  Give yourself a rating on a scale of 1 to 5, 1=poor, 2=fair, 3=good, 4=very good, 5=excellent.
7.   Empower yourself to keep going, don’t make excuses.
8.   If you get off track, tomorrow is a new day, begin again.
9.   Celebrate your success!

For example, if you decide to read more – self-help books, business books, spiritual books, leadership books, inspirational stories – Libby is a free app that attaches your library card to books that are available to download.  You can listen to them via audio, read them via Kindle, or read them on the app.  You borrow books just like you would from the library. Put them on your shelf for 14 days and return them or renew them, as needed.  It is a great inexpensive and quick way to access the library and it is digital.  Reading more is a great new habit to begin in 2024!

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters.  Excellence is not an exception; it is a prevailing attitude.” -Collin Powell

“Rest when you are weary.  Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind,your spirit.  Then get back to work.” – Ralph Marston

Are you at a crossroads?

There are many reasons you could be at a crossroads in your career:

1. Recently laid off or fired
2. Unhappy in your current position
3. Uncertain of your organization’s future
4. Want to be more challenged
5. Want to be less challenged
6. Spouse or partner is considering relocating and you want to be supportive

Your own reason may be complex, just a feeling that it is time for a change.  This is not unusual, especially if you are deep into your career, you have family demands, and/or other stressors such as health issues or family health issues.

Here are some steps you can take to help you make good decisions at this critical juncture.

1. Assess.  What is really driving this need for change?  Is the need urgent or can you feel good about taking a wait and see approach.

• Plan. Once you make a decision about what you need and why and when, you can begin to plan how you will make it happen.

• Input. Get others who you have a trust relationship with to give you feedback.  Bounce ideas and options off of them.

• Step Forward. Take one step toward your goal. How does it feel? Are the barriers too great? How determined are you to break through these barriers?

• Vision. As you progress forward, you should be able to see your way clear to your goal.  Think about how it will feel to be in a better place, even if you make a change within the same organization or decide to stick it out in the same job with some minor adjustments.

• Renew.  Make a commitment that you will be content where you land.  Get up every day and be thankful for what you have. Be alert to subtle cues that you are given about how you are doing and stay on track.

• Celebrate. Take pride in your accomplishments while recognizing that you are a continuous learner. Take time to reflect on you and your career every six months.  Ask yourself what is going well and what is not going well. Try to change the things you can change.

We all must have a purpose to get up every day and give it our all.  Make your purpose one that calls you to action with joy and perseverance!

“Every day is a renewal, every morning the daily miracle. This joy you feel is life.”

– Gertrude Stein.

Self Awareness

Leadership Skill:  Self-Awareness

Every leader goes through many stages of development, which typically begins with taking a fresh look at yourself as a leader.  During the first stage, you listen and learn from everyone and every situation.  The second stage involves beginning to prove yourself as a leader, especially in your decision-making and problem-solving skills.  By the third stage you begin to have successes and deliver results based on the potential others saw in you. The fourth stage is when you start to question your abilities, especially when something has set you back a bit.

After a few iterations of the other stages, you enter the 5th stage – the one where you exhibit a little more maturity as a leader.  You discover a sense of humility and humor – the stage where you realize that those you surround yourself with are just as important, if not more so, than you are.

In a Forbes article by Chinwe Esimai titled “Great Leadership Starts with Self-Awareness” she states that self-awareness has been cited as the most important capability for leaders to develop.  Successful leaders know where their natural inclinations lie and use this knowledge to boost those inclinations or to compensate for them.

Key points:

1. Know yourself.  How self-aware are you?  How keen is your emotional intelligence, that ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others?  How are you effectively using that awareness to manage your behavior and relationships?

• Identify external factors that trigger both negative and positive behaviors by you and toward you.  What is the impact of culture on your and others’ perceptions?

• Gather trusted feedback to help you understand the impact of your actions on others.  Are you unaware of your blind spots that may limit your effectiveness as a leader?

• Consider the circumstances by thinking about when to utilize a personality trait to your advantage and when it’s best to leave it on the sidelines.  Most self-aware leaders have learned to identify their natural tendencies and have adjusted their behavior in some way, in order to change how they are perceived.  They did not change their personality, but they did learn how to change their behavior, when needed, in both business and personal situations.

• Assess behaviors in light of your values and priorities by being honest about what tendencies you would like to change and which ones you would like to build upon.  The best outcome of self-awareness is to figure out what makes you great and be more of the excellent you.

• Stay curious about yourself and others.  Curiosity will help you continually learn, grow, and develop as an effective leader.

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman

What transformational leader is lying silent in you, encompassing all of the talents and gifts that can enable you to become the next-generation you? – Robert McMillan

“If you are under the impression you have already perfected yourself, you will never rise to the heights you are no doubt capable of.” – Kazuo Ishiguro

Workplace Big Five Overview

Autobell has selected to utilize the Workplace Big Five Personality Assessment tool to help you be more self-aware as a leader.  It can also be used as a coaching tool by your boss or mentor.

Q1   What is the Workplace Big Five?

A1   The Five Factor Model was developed by research psychologists during the 1980’s.  What set it apart from other personality assessments was that it was done in the modern age utilizing high-powered computer analytics.  Other assessments utilized in the business world were typically developed before WWII.  The psychologists were from across the U.S. and concluded through extensive lexical factor analysis that five concepts embrace the nearly 18,000 words which describe personality traits found in the English language. These over-arching terms are need for stability (response to stress), extraversion (response to stimuli), openness (to change and new experiences), agreeableness (accommodation), and conscientiousness (consolidation and planning).

Q2   What is the purpose?

A2   The results can be used for multiple purposes – hiring, promotion, career development, and leadership coaching, among a few.  The reports describe who the individual as a unique personality.  Each person is complex and exhibits various dimensions of personality within the five super traits and the twenty-three sub-traits.   It is important to note that the reports are just ONE piece of information used in assessing an individual’s strengths and weaknesses.

Q3   What if I feel that some of my scores are ‘bad’?

A3   There are no good and bad scores.  Everyone is a star – a five-point star.  Your strengths allow you to do at least one thing better than almost anyone else.  Working from your strengths in approaching work, relationships, and challenges will allow you to succeed.   Reference:   “First, Break All the Rules” and “The One Thing You Need to Know” by Marcus Buckingham.

Q4   How does my personality impact my team?

A4   The results help the you explore your unique personality styles.  It gives you a basis to observe others and how their personalities are exhibited in the workplace. Some of the sub-traits which impact teamwork are intensity, interpretation, warmth, sociability, and others’ needs.

Q5   What if I disagree with my results?

A5   One possibility is that you may not be as self-aware as you think you are.  Ask others close to you if your results describe who you are.  If you still question your super-trait scores, it may be because one of your sub-factor scores is higher or lower.  There is also the possibility that you were not honest in your responses to the questions or that your answers were polarized (extremely different for the same type of situation).  Further exploration and explanation may be needed.

Q6  What if I don’t like my results?

A6   We all have areas we want to improve and develop.  That is natural, just like someone with a stockier build wishes to be thinner and someone who is wiry wishes to have more bulk or strength.  It is probably not worth an extreme amount of effort to try to change who they are (60% nature, 40% nurture).  How can you work around what you consider a weakness or area for development?

Q7   For example, I know that I have to be detail-oriented every day, yet my score shows I have high scope (not detail-oriented).  Why?

A7   These scores represent who they are most of the time.  Mid-range scores may mean that your responses are situational.  In the example above, you are capable of doing details well.  We can all do things out of our comfort zone for a short period.  Nonetheless, it is probably not a good idea to have a job that requires you to perform well in that area all day.

Q8   What if my scores are very different from my boss or my managers?

A8   As a rule of thumb, if there is a 10-point or more difference in your score and someone else’s score for a factor or sub-factor, there is a potential for conflict.  That does not mean it is negative conflict.  It just means you will have a difference of opinion about some things.  That is okay.  In fact, challenging each other and bringing different skills and abilities and personalities to the table will help the team overall.  It is good for a team to have diversity in personality and personality factors.  Less than optimum decisions are made when everyone thinks alike.  

Q9  Will my scores change over time?

A9   Scores will not change significantly unless many years have passed since the last report or if you have experienced a significant life event.  As we get older, typically our scores have slight changes – N score increases (less impervious to stress), E score decreases (less extraverted), O score decreases (less open to change), A score increases (more accommodating), and C score increases (more conscientious).

Q10  What if one or more of my scores is extremely low or high?

A10  If a score is in the lowest 7% or the highest 7%, you need to be aware that 93% of other team members will not be like you.  For example, if you are an extreme perfectionist, it may be difficult for you to delegate to others because you don’t believe they will be able to perform the task correctly.

BRH January 3, 2022

When you think you don’t have the time…

When you think you are just too busy to even think about down time, that is the time you need to do something about it. Do it anyway.

The little things matter. Here is a list of things you can do with little bits of moments – things that will make your day better.

1. Try to make someone smile.
2. Write a thank you note – you know the old-fashioned, hand-written one.
3. Plan a mini-vacation. Something to look forward to can be powerful medicine.
4. Medidate – try the app MNDFL.
5. Look out the window.
6. Roll down the windows while driving in your vehicle.
7. Go to a favorite place nearby.
8. Sit by the pool or a body of water.
9. Watch a sunrise or sunset.
10. Take a walk in the park.
11. Walk in the rain.
12. Call a friend you haven’t spoken with in a long time.
13. Pet your dog or cat.
14. Do something therapeutic – sing, dance, paint, create something.
15. Play with a young child.
16. Kiss your sweetheart.
17. Read an uplifting book, magazine, or article.
18. Listen to uplifting music.
19. Go for a bike ride.
20. Listen to outdoor life.

Try a few items on this list or create your own list. You will be amazed at the new energy and focus you have! Don’t take my word for it. Try it! Now!

Lessons Learned in 2020

1. If you love where you live and who you live with, isolation is a piece of cake. 
2. If you have down days, and you will, the morning will usually wash those feelings away. 
3. You can do with less. 
4. Vision for the long term helps. This too will end. 
5. Reaching out, connecting with others, and helping and supporting others is one way to stay sane. 
6. Having a purpose each day is important. 
7. Projects, projects, projects. They keep you busy and focused. 
8. Faith and hope are key. 
9. There are things you can control and things you cannot. Don’t worry about the things you can’t control. 
10. Writing your thoughts, especially your gratitude, can be a good way to spend your time and energy. 
11. Capitalize on opportunities that present themselves, e.g. investing in a new hobby or interest. 
12. Spend as much time as you can outdoors doing something active, if you are able. 
13. Stress brings out more of who people really are. 

2020 taught a lot of us good lessons. Some were harder to learn than others. It certainly will make facing the rest of 2021 easier. Hope you take a few minutes to enjoy each day, look around you, and encourage the people who are important to you!

BRH

Appreciation

Appreciation – Recognition of good points, good qualities of something or someone.

What does this word inspire in you?  Does it make you feel validated?  Worthwhile?  Very rarely do we feel that others notice what we do and our contributions.  If you begin to notice others’ contributions and tell them so, it can be the beginning of creating an environment of appreciation.  Have you told your customers you appreciate them?  Your peers?  Your manager?  Your friends? Your family members?  Be creative about the way you say “thank you”.  Small things matter and are impactful.  Give someone a note or a small gift.  Tell them specifically what you appreciate about them.  Take the time to reflect on who and what you appreciate.  Say “thanks” with your words and your actions.

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you.  Express your appreciation sincerely without the expectation of anything in return.  Truly appreciate those around you and you’ll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” – Ralph Marston

BRH

Top Ten Team Member Qualities

“What are the top qualities or attributes you would look for in a good employee, (whether it is someone who would work for you or as a peer)?”  During a personal survey asking this question, here is what I discovered:

1. Dependable, reliable – you can be depended upon, you do what you say you are going to do.
2. Honest, integrity – you tell the truth even when you have made a misstep, you are trustworthy.
3. Hard-working – you put in your best effort.
4. Gets along with customers and co-workers – you are pleasant and harmonious in your interactions with others.
5. Takes initiative – when you see something that needs to be done, you do it.
6. Willingness to learn, motivated to learn – you learn something new every day.
7. Personable – you are sociable, but professional.
8. Knowledgeable, educated – you know your stuff.
9. Desire to please – you want to satisfy your boss and your customers.
10. Straightforward – your communication is clear, honest, and easy to understand.

As I continued to ask the same question, the list did not get any longer.

BRH

Career – a job or profession someone does for a long time

The operative word in the definition of career is “long”.   You need to find, if you have not already, the work you want to do for a long time.  I know very few people who choose their career from the start.  One of the funny lines about careers – “The reason adults ask young children what they want to be when they grow up is because they are looking for hints”.

Typically careers take a meandering path.  Recently at the pool, our older grandson told a perfect stranger that he wanted to live on a ranch out west, design video games, and teach fencing when he is an adult.  The younger grandson, not to be outdone, said “I want to be a sushi restaurant owner.”  We shall see what the future holds.

You may know someone who got their degree in one thing but the opportunities took them somewhere else.  We would hope that ‘somewhere else’ sparked something in them and that they enjoy what they do.

You know your job is well-suited if:

1. Everything comes naturally.  In other words, you know what to do next in differing situations but you don’t know why you know.  It just flows out of you.
2. You receive consistently positive feedback.  The things you do and the results you achieve receive high praise.
3. You find co-workers you are in-sync with.  This is the opposite of feeling odd-man-out.  Being in-sync with those you work with and your work environment is especially gratifying.  You know you are in the right place at the right time with the right people.
4. You are passionate about what you are doing.  You are having fun because you know the work you are doing matters.  Every positive impact you have on others brings you great joy.
5. Pay is not the most important thing.  Because you are being allowed to use the competencies and skills that energize you; the money is secondary.
6. You can be you.  You don’t have to pretend.  It feels good because who you really are can shine through.

One story…

Kay was in the television industry.  She worked her way up to managing a t.v. station, putting in long hours and great effort to make it a success.  She was a high-achiever.  The people she was working with loved her.  But… something was missing.  After great angst, she left the industry and moved to Chile for a couple of years teaching English as a second language at an elementary school.  She discovered she loved working with children and loved teaching.  That is what was missing for her.  She completed her Masters in Education (previous degree had been in communications) while working at a predominantly-Spanish-speaking elementary school in Boston.  When she graduated, she accepted a teacher position in a 2nd grade classroom in a small town outside of Boston. Her career and path to true success was launched!  She has been happily teaching full-time for five years.

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

“It is highly impossible for you to be successful at what you don’t love.  Do what you love and love what you do.” –  Israelmore Ayiyor

It’s a Rainy Day…

Rainy days create a change in the normal schedule.  You can get things done that may have been on your to do list for a long day.  Business is a little slower, staying inside is the tune of the day, and time weighs on you in such a way that you may even be able to contemplate a bit.

Rainy days should be celebrated.  That is a difficult thing for me to say.  Sunny days create an energy in me.  I need to learn to accept the gift of a rainy day, too. 

We have a friend who loves, loves, loves the rain.  On rainy days,  he intentionally takes a walk outside…a long walk.  I often wondered what was the appeal.  But, if you do it yourself, you will understand.  Maybe not in the rain AND wind but a soaking rain.  Put on a good raincoat and enjoy it.  It has its own beauty.

If you need to work, go ahead, get it done.  Make a to do list of tasks you can be productive in on a rainy day.  Keep the list on your desktop or laptop as your rainy-day list. Your list might include:

 -Clean

 -Get organized

-Catch up on emails

-Write a letter (yes, a letter)

– Talk to someone on the phone

-Read a leadership book or article

-Make repairs around the house or in life

-Start working on a long-term project that you can work on during other rainy days

-Take a step back for the day and reflect

These are all things you can accomplish on a rainy day. Maybe at the end of the day, you’ll see a rainbow.

“Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day,

give thanks for your blessings, and pray for guidance every day.”

– John Wooden

BRH

Leadership Skill: Encouragement

“The secret of leadership is simple.  Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future and go there.  People will follow.

                                                                                                         – Seth Godin

Encourage: give support, confidence, or hope to (someone), give support and advice to (someone) so that they will do or continue to do something, help or stimulate (an activity, state, or view) to develop

To encourage is to give active help or to raise confidence to the point where one dares to do what is difficult.

To hearten is to put one’s heart into or to renew someone’s spirit.

To inspire is to infuse with confidence, resolution, or enthusiasm.

To foster is to encourage by nurturing or extending aid.

 

 I have recently heard managers use words that make me cringe when referring to corrective action with employees, words such as:

• punishment
• discipline
• write-up
• reprimand

As a leader, you will not get very far with taking employees to the next level of performance with this mindset.  If employees use these terms, so be it, they do not know any better.  But… make every effort to expunge such words from your culture.

Instead, corrective action should be simply a means of communicating an area that a team member needs to improve.  Substitute these words:

• performance improvement
• redirection
• positive reinforcement
• coaching points

Corrective action is not punishment or discipline.  Corrective action is communication and encouragement about performance improvement.  You need to be clearly on the employee’s side until it is obvious that they can’t or won’t meet the required expectations.

 

Tips for encouraging others:

1. Thank those who help you along the way. Give compliments when warranted.  Say, “We couldn’t have done it without you.”

 

2. Be friendly, but professional.  Be a good listener.  Be matter of fact when giving redirection.  Say, “It may be best for you to work with Tim a little longer.  Pay attention to the order he does things.  What do you think?”

 

3. Observe when someone does something (anything) particularly well, especially when it seems natural to them.  Let them know you noticed.  Build on the positives.  Say, “I observed you today when you re-organized the way you were doing things.  That is exactly what we are looking for.”

 

4. Set the Tone. Distinguish yourself as a positive, “can do” leader.  Say “I am certain you can conquer the challenge.”

 

5. Jump In. Take the initiative to help someone who is needs redirection or is overwhelmed. Ask, “How can I help?”

 

 

“There is a maxim that is indisputable: people may not remember what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.  You must give people your emotional commitment to enlist them in the results you want to achieve.” 

– Loretta Malandro, PhD